THERE’S great consternation in the land, and yet the sun still comes up on a frosty winter morn. From my writing window, the sun pops up in the crook of a locust tree on Riverside Avenue. It sits there for a while at this time of year then starts moving north. By the summer solstice in June it’ll be coming up on Hemlock Avenue.
Iron piggy, still out there in the driveway, unshod. I broke down the old tires but haven’t gotten around to mounting the new ones yet.
I’ll get that done this week, and bang out some copy for Jeff Weigel, the artist on the Sunday Phantom. Mostly I’ll have fun minding D1D2, though she manages to exhaust me between 8:30 and 5:30 every day.
When we get to this page in the tale of twelve little girls in two straight lines, our little girl always points to the soldier and says, “Owwie!”
Last week I said I’d scribble on the momentous events of our time, so as not to be mistaken for a potted plant. That’s what this is from here down.
If you’re burned out on the Capitol siege, I wouldn’t blame you if you are, exit here. If Trump is your savior, I don’t want readers savaging one another in the comments column. This is my living room, after all, not the WaPo free-for-all. But do comment if you like, we’ll keep it a private communication between us.
For any readers still here… did the extraordinary assault on the U.S. Capitol seem, to you, not at all surprising once it had happened?
That’s how it struck me. Extraordinary in a matter-of-fact way. Unheard of, but instantly recognizable as the America we live in.
I might be guilty of poor citizenship in that I never took Trump seriously. I don’t watch TV, I’m not on social media, never read any of his tweets. Life’s too short. Before you know it you’re George Clooney on the way out.
How much time do you want to spend listening to a man with a chaotic mind? Once you know that about Trump, he’s pitiful, an attention hound. I wasn’t going to let him star in a TV show in my head for the next four years.
For the first three, I couldn’t look at a photo of him without laughing out loud. The long coat, long tie, fake tan, the fussed-over ‘do that says… what? The Fonz? C’mon, man, you look like a Long Island funeral director. If you’re serious about playing the Obediah Stane of Pennsylvania Avenue, at least shave your head like a proper supervillain.
Needless to say, he got very unfunny in year four, when doctors and nurses started stacking bodies in reefer trucks, and it was just a worldwide hoax aimed at making him look bad.
He had our number, didn’t he? Trump knows that many Americans thrive on violence, worship money, and prefer fantasy to fact, mere magical thinking in the mainstream, but, of late, more the delusional kind. He exploited those weaknesses.
America has never been at peace in the world. Especially not within its own borders. Violence is the central feature of our history, our entertainment, it fuels the sports industry, it’s coded into the language of the public discourse. Everything’s a war on this, or for that. The national anthem is rockets and bombs going off.
Money? We’re deranged by it. While pumping 20 gallons of a dangerous petroleum product, here, be a good little consumer and watch a few commercials on Gas Pump TV.
Fantasy, the linchpin of it all. If you buy out of the fantasy, expect to be denounced. People will think you’re alleging that June and Ward Cleaver were just actors, and that Ronald Reagan and John Wayne didn’t lead the first wave ashore on Omaha Beach.
Conservatives who want to MAGA their way back to the good old days, those are the ones who were not in the mob that sacked the Capitol. The ones who were, they’ve escaped ahead, into new, perverse fantasy worlds.
When he unleashed his fanatics and Q wingnuts, the impeached president became an object lesson in Give a fool enough rope and he’ll hang himself.
Again!
So much craziness, and so over the top that even boardroom conservatives have realized that a batshit America is bad for business. Hence the new blacklist on bankrolling Banana Republicans, those who voted to keep a defeated authoritarian in power. It won’t divert all that much money from the 139 reps and eight senators who threw in with the rioters, but it’s a good thing all the same.
With the Capitol trashed and still-warm bodies on the slab, one leading producer of shout radio did a 180 and threatened to fire any host who continued to incite sedition. To paraphrase the memo: The crazies don’t get it. They don’t understand that what we do is sell energy bars to people on hamster wheels. You carnival barkers are no longer just undermining democracy and our listeners’ mental health—now you’re putting our business model in jeopardy.
Which brings us to the…
Love…
Of…
Money!
My whole life, I’ve been greedy greedy greedy, I’ve grabbed all the money I could get, I’m so greedy…
People who are supposedly against that root of all evil took the Gadarene plunge with him, to the greater glory of blue-eyed, two-fisted Ranger Jesus, highlighting what most of us learned long ago just by living and paying attention: the louder the profession of piety, of patriotism, of patriotic piety, the more you might want to slide a hand over your wallet, bub.
Professed devotion to a cross, a flag, these are cultural markers, at best. Most of us know to take people as we find them, as individuals, assuming nothing for good or ill. These outward shows tell you nothing of a person’s heart. If you start thinking they do, then they tell you less than nothing.
The brain science, no dispute about that: what you put into your brain makes physical changes to the seat of consciousness. When people start nodding their heads to a leader’s every word, the brain starts to pare the synapses no longer in use.
You don’t have to be from the holler in West Virginia to dumb yourself down. You can test well, dress well, have an Ivy League education and still ruin your brain.
Garbage in, garbage out.
I would be so very honored…
Not to excuse the inexcusable, but the lawmakers who voted to keep Trump in power may not have the equipment between the ears anymore to know treason when they see it. They’ve trained their brains to get a dopamine hit off the language of political extremism.
The old saying for it was Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas.
Nietzsche, more poetically: Gaze long enough into an abyss and the abyss will gaze back into you.
And that’s what it was at the Capitol siege: the abyss gazing back, America.
It’s all denouement for Trump now. To be delivered, if he’s lucky, by the District Attorney of New York County, New York. By the FBI if he’s not.
To me, he’s a sick man. Born rich, handed everything, obsessed by greed, envy, class, by others perceiving class in him… look, my golden escalator...
Someone inside the White House told reporters that when the president saw his people sacking the Capitol on live TV, what upset him most was that they looked low class. They were a poor reflection on him, that was the crime underway.
Isn’t it interesting that the man achieved the highest office in the land and still had no class? Some defect makes him incapable of seeing that this quality he wants for himself resides not in things, or titles, but in the inner life of the rich and poor alike, and people see it expressed in word and deed, or, in his case, they don’t.
Take heart in the fact that, in 2016, most Americans saw Trump for what he was, and they didn’t want him. And most really didn’t want him in 2020. That’s encouraging.
On the morning after Election Day, 2016, I thought: we’ll be all right as long as he doesn’t start some catastrophic global war to prove what a he-man he thinks he is. Barring that, he’ll end up serving our country in a way he never intended: he’ll show us a preview of the know-nothing dystopia, and that will energize most Americans, especially the young, to work for a more modern society, a more perfect union, a country where facts matter and money isn’t the measure of all value.
Joe Biden’s 20 years too old to be president, but he’ll hire adults, that’s a good enough start on the next America. Then he can sit in the rocking chair out front and let his vice president do the heavy lifting.
Somehow, we made it! He whose reach exceeds his grasp will soon be watching TV on his own time. But he’s still dangerous, and can still bring down violence on the country. Come Wednesday, let’s hope the soldiers deployed to defend the president-elect have been checked out for gonzo online ravings.
Will close here with a tip of the hat to Warren Zevon…
You may have noticed this, too, but in 1978 he wrote a fitting recessional march for the all-too-excitable boy about to exit the White House.
Tony DePaul, January 18, 2021, Cranston, Rhode Island, USA
You amaze me – or should I be frightened? – that all those complex, deep, serious musings are milling about in your brain…you have such a gift with words, creating some of the most thought provoking commentaries, the best snarky remarks cloaked in rich language and damned those references…references…references!! And if those are not sufficient gifts, you’ve been able to keep the Orange Monster out of your head for the last 4 years…BRAVO, Tony…you have outdone yourself on this one….
You’re just saying that because I watered your plants today. Beware of Florida Man until we see you in the spring, Marianne.
Warren Zevon – my favorite is The Envoy. Of course, The Hockey Song also has a message – of sorts.
It sure did. The Derek Boogaard stories were hard to read. Heartbreaking. I remember the interviews with his father before the son cashed up at 28. The family had no idea how to cope with his C.T.E. behavior. The human head’s not designed to be knocked around that much.
Excellent political analysis there, thanks for that, it’s right on the money! The Biden era is nearly here…..
I’m writing in, both about your spot-on comments, but also about the Phantom. I’d sent in another post several weeks ago about your impressive Harley ride videos, (which cheered me up no end) and mentioned that aircraft in the Phantom were always a good feature. You said that a couple of Blackhawk helicopters were going to make an appearance, and it was great when they did! Art’s always good, driven by your stories.
Thanks, stay safe.
Bill
Thank you, Bill. I’ll get another riding video posted before long (even if the hard-luck iron piggy did get snowed on this morning, sitting out there with no wheels).
Mike’s art is just outstanding. Yesterday he filed the art for the first week of February, really great stuff from the inside of Gravelines Prison.
I wish we had him all to ourselves on the Phantom strip and he wasn’t burning time on Judge Parker… but the economics are such that these guys have to crank crank crank to make a living. There was real money in it at one time. Those days are gone & not ever coming back.
BTW, keep yer eyes peeled in Gravelines. There’s something going on there that’s going to be important two stories down the road.
Tony, always good to see what is bouncing around in your noggin.
History shows that every bit of progress faces some backlash but I don’t think anyone could have predicted that the backlash to the election of an intelligent, articulate black president would be the election of a racist dullard with the vocabulary of a 2nd grader. Most of us knew racism had never gone away, but with the encouragement of President Knownothing it is now seen as perfectly acceptable to march around with your Nazi shirts, long gun (penis substitute), and tiki torches.
Sadly, racism and the sheer lack of acceptance of reality and agreeing that facts and science matter are two massive hurdles that won’t be solved just by changing the resident of the Oval Office.
Indeed so, Bullet. The reactionary strain runs deep in the culture. A third of the country lost its mind over Obama, and policy-wise he would have fit very nicely into the mainstream of the Republican Party circa 1970. He saved the banks, not the homeowners, a very Republican thing to do. Biden, same deal, he helped George Bush invade Iraq. He wants our governor as his commerce secretary. She’s a Wall Street Democrat, which is to say she’s basically what used to be called a Republican. That some people can’t tell the difference between Biden and Marx just speaks to how badly the right has been radicalized. I agree with you, I don’t think it’s going away anytime soon, but, people have seen now where it leads. We always knew the guns were going to come out to back authoritarian rule, not to oppose it.
Thanks Tony, I can always rely on your well spoken words of wisdom to sort things out.
Holy moley it’s Steve Billings not from Montana but from Oregon! So good to hear from you, man. Thanks for the good word.
You make sense from nonsense.
En fuego.
Gracias.
The feces has hit the ventilator!!!
Zevon called it…
Tony, I am envious that you could ignore the Orange Menace as well as you did. You probably have avoided being angry nonstop for four years. We can only hope that the USA can recover as it sorta did after the Civil War and other disasters. Thanks for this outstanding column. I’ve been a Phan for many years and hope you keep doing it.
Thanks, Ed. I hope you enjoy the Sunday story Jeff’s working on now, a thing called “The Visitor.” Some of the ancestors are in there: the 3rd, 6th, 12th and 16th Phantoms.
Jeff’s way out front on deadlines. The story doesn’t start until March, he’s already filing art that won’t be published until July, and Monday he’ll be looking for new copy beyond that. The guy’s a work horse.
Thanks for reading. Here and there.
Wow Tony, you were spot in every respect! I should subscribe to your newsletter, oh, wait, I already do:>) I need to save a copy of your post to my desktop, in case I ever forget what happened on January 6, as if that were possible (not).
Thanks for reading, Will. Be safe out there on two wheels. I’ll be back up on ’em this week.
I have long said to anyone who will listen, what rules the world is Money and Power. Those with it sell Love, Peace and Happiness to those that don’t have it. Hollywood.
We all thought we had progressed in mankind’s humanity since WWII. We haven’t – all that bad old is still here in 2021. Split right down the middle, mostly. Resist.
I am reminded of Niemoller when I think of Trump and his supporters:
First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist….
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a trade unionist….
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew…..
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.
Indeed. We are the primitives of our species. Most of us got down out of the trees… others are trying to climb back up.
Biden didn’t win the election, Trump lost it.
Too bad all this stuff that is happening south of the border. I feel for you people. Just think what the rest of the world is thinking. Is this what democracy is? China, North Korea, Russia, etc.
Too bad my friends, it is what it is. I hope things can return to a more peaceful time.
We could use a little Canadian sanity, Bob. Box it up, ship it out.
Americans who haven’t traveled widely in your country don’t appreciate that the average Canadian conservative is basically what we’d call a middle-of-the-road Democrat. You guys have better karma, not at one another’s throats the way we are.
I feel you deep inside my brain on this one, Tony!! Counting the hours until sanity takes back the White House.
42 hours, 17 minutes
Tony, I second what Beth said – nailed it. I never want to go through another 4 years like the last and as you say, the last few months were the worst. I am truly flummoxed by the fealty of his supporters. Never thought I’d see the day when the Presidency would turn into a cult.
Sheesh.
I hear the Florida stories from my neighbor, Marianne, down there for the winter. Cult is the word, all right.
Congrats, Tony, you did it. A post about politics without the 4 letter words, ethnic slurs and threats. I’d love to see more political posts from you. As a lifelong Democrat, I’m concerned about the direction the party is going in today. Wishing Biden well.
Hang on, Old Man Joe!
The job’s a killer for someone in their 50s. Assuming they’re engaged in the job, not watching TV, playing with a phone, flying from one golf course to another…
Spot on, brother. Onward through the fog.
Stay healthy down there, Brad. Been reading about the covid situation in Houston. Not that it’s a cake walk anywhere…
We’ve got covid in the nuclear family now. Not good.
You are so right Tony, with you all the way 100%. You nailed it. Trump is a sick and very pitiful man, and so is his little sick puppy from Missouri. ‘Nuff said, pal.
And did you notice that on April 13, 2019, in the daily strip, he rage-tweeted on Lamanda Luaga, called him low I.Q.? Luaga, as you know, has a powerful intellect and is a stand-up guy. Not to mention that he can probably vie with Guran for Phantom’s-best-friend status.
I went back and looked that up, and I remembered it then, and the first time I read it I was LMAO, it was so well done. Looking forward to The Visitor, with so many early Phantom guest stars. Would love to see you do an adventure with the 1st Phantom, Tony. With you doing it, it would be nothing but great.
Haha… Terry, I’m not sure I would know what to do with those Jethro Bodine pants the 1st Phantom wore.
Amazing Tony you said it perfectly! j
Hey, Jody. Thanks for reading. Pam and I might see you next year. Or so I’m told. The kids (the D2 & husband subset of “the kids”) are cooking up a plan where they’ll need their travel van ferried from Yuma to Seattle and I guess we’re being enlisted.
Next blog post I’ll have pics of the van they built over the winter. It came out really well.
What she said. Thanks Beth, nothing to add.
Thanks for reading, Chris. Get those guys at work to mask up!
With you on all this brother.
Thanks, man. Thinking of Dorie today.
Thank you, brother
Thanks, Tony! You nailed it!
Onward to a better America!
A personally safer America for me, Beth… working on my motorcycle wheels now.
Pam said “How did you get that selfie?” Selfie? Babe, that’s George Clooney.
Had her fooled because that’s how she greets the day, rolls over and sees that mess every morning…